Beyond The Comfort Zone: Going To The Dark Place

Do you have that friend that seemingly works their ass off day in and day out? The kind of friend that seems to be able to do anything because they work so damn hard? The one that seems to have a few screws loose?

Guilty as charged. At least, my friends tend to think so. 

In fact, my identity was seemingly tied to my work ethic. I’d never be the strongest, the quickest, the most talented, or the most gifted. But I’d be damned if I let someone outwork me. That was my territory and I owned it. Not many insults could get under my skin, but I would get seriously pissed off if someone told me that I wasn’t working hard enough. I never questioned my work ethic. Sure, I probably wasn’t the smartest worker out there, but hardest worker? Absolutely.

Or so I thought.

Flowrestling had released a documentary titled “To Hell And Back” in which they covered NCAA champion Isaiah Martinez, known in the wrestling community as IMar. A few years before, they had released a documentary of Imar’s coach, Mark Perry. 

In this documentary, IMar attends a big offseason tournament and makes it to the finals. However, he mentioned that something was off.

“I got steamrolled. It was bad.” 

Knowing that IMar had not been living a lifestyle that was conducive to being a champion at the highest level, Mark Perry took this moment to, in IMar’s words, “throw daggers at my heart a little”. 

“That match was over before it even started!”

“Do you really think you’re gonna be all that you say you’re gonna be working like that?”

“We believe in what you can accomplish, but until you man up and, you know, grow a pair, you’re gonna run into the same problems.”

After that conversation, IMar embraced the lifestyle that was conducive to becoming a champion at the highest level. He started pushing himself even further- to supposedly unbelievable amounts. He’d make sure to “go to that dark place” every day in practice. At the end of that season, IMar became a national champion as a freshman in college with an undefeated season. 

Something about that story had resonated with me, and chills ran down my spine.

I had valued my own work ethic so much. It was inconceivable for me to work any harder, or so I thought. Mark Perry’s words hit me like a truck. I thought back to times in which I was tired and asked myself, “Could I push myself even more?” The answer was yes. The answer had to be yes.

After watching that documentary, I made it a point to push myself as hard as I could possibly go. Wrestling practice had two purposes that I would focus on- sharpening my technique and pushing myself as far as I could go.

One day in the practice room, our coach announced that we’d be doing what was called a “grind match.” In other words, this was full-on live wrestling with no breaks for a period of time that would be much longer than the standard seven minute wrestling match. To be honest, I don’t remember whether he said 20 or 30 minutes. With about 15 minutes remaining, I began to seriously slow down because of fatigue. Had we been keeping score, I was theoretically in the lead of this match. I had the option to cruise my way to the finish line and still “win.” Most of the time, in those moments, I’d slow down a little but still give a solid push to the finish. This time, I had caught myself. In my mind, I heard my own voice.

“Do you really think you’re gonna be all that you say you’re gonna be working like that?”

In that moment, it was crystal clear. The answer was no. I stood up and, like a man possessed, kept on attacking. Towards the end, my vision started getting darker. I was blacking out, but how I felt no longer mattered. I continued to push myself as hard as I could.

“Time!” The grind match was over. During the cool down jog, I practically limped my way around the wrestling room. My coach saw that I was about to collapse. Practice ended shortly thereafter.

Sitting down after practice, I thought to myself, “That’s the effort that’ll get the job done. If I can keep sharpening my skills while pushing myself like that, with enough time, I’ll have the freedom to achieve whatever the hell I want.” I believe it to be true in wrestling and I believe it to be true in life.

That day, I left the wrestling room having learned one of the most powerful lessons in my life.